Dearest Amanda

It's been a while. I was never a good blogger to begin with. I wanted to keep up with this to enjoy over the years, but who knows.

I'm writing now because I am reflecting about the fact that I CANNOT believe it has been one year since I lost my dad.
It is such a bittersweet time for me.
I am going to celebrate his life this year because although I believe funerals should be a celebration of life, I just couldn't do it at the time. The mixture of emotions made it too difficult.
I am going to celebrate because I am proud of how I have found the strength to get through this year.
It is the MOST surreal feeling in the world when you lose someone so close to you. For me, every sense was heightened.
Hear: I listen with a much more sympathetic heart as others are hurting and need help.
Smell: I enjoy the little things in life like smelling flowers or just standing still and taking in everything around me.
See: I see everything in a completely different light. I look at things in a completely different perspective. Things just don't bother me as much as they did before. I don't stress out. I smile more.
Taste: I eat more Whataburger and bar-b-q than ever before:) It makes me think of my dad.
Touch: I hug everyone just a little bit tighter and make sure I smother my husband, nieces, and sisters in hugs and kisses as often as I can.

The GOOD things that happen seem so much better.

I am scared I will start to forget about my dad. I don't want to. I started crying the other day because I had not thought about my dad in a few days. My awesome husband immediately called my sister-in-law and she is going to work on an art piece in honor of my dad so I will have a reminder about it. I can't wait. More details will follow.


Dearest Amanda,
I wish I was giving you a hug right now. I am so proud of your school work this year in 1st grade. I enjoy our phone calls so much, when you tell me about your spelling grades and field trips. You are so smart and know you always try to do your very best. I bet you have your pretty smile on your face right now. Your two sisters love you very much. Please give them a kiss and hug from me. Keep praying for Daddy that he always does what is Godly and right. I know you do. You are so beautiful and smart and sweet.
Love,
Daddy